HE DESERVES
by Revenessa
Summary: Post WW, one-shot, AU, captainswan. "He knows you don't love him, he took the hint." Her heart clenched at the words. "He's slowly dying, Emma, he's not a young man." She fought back tears. "If not love, he deserves at least some gratitude." Emma knew he deserved much more than that, but couldn't risk her heart again, she still couldn't risk being wrong about him.


**This is a one shot. I don't own ouat.**

**This is for naiariddle.**

**Thanks to dancingdoula for beta'd it for me. Check her fic!**

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**HE DESERVES**

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Green orbs drifted to the nearest window, her eyes catching the dying rays of the sun, a lonely tear sliding down her cheek. She needed it, the solace and the minutes ticking in silence. She was back home, back at Storybrooke. Second curse broken and a fresh new crop of magic beans already growing. She sipped her well-disguised whiskey, the amber-colored liquid floating in a tall neck glass. She sighed, a hand resting on the window pane with longing as she wished for some peace. But Emma wasn't alone, she was at a party, dressed in an uncomfortably tight long black dress that Ruby had insisted she wear, her black platform shoes on, her hair softly curled around her face.

She was surrounded by smiling faces, and laughter, hearts everywhere reminding her how mangled her own organ was. Her fingers curled tighter around the glass as she glanced around the room for the thousandth time that night. Mary Margaret and David talked with Ruby and Archie, David's hand on Snow's belly, the small gesture a telltale of Mary Margaret's current state, pregnant with her second child, a child she wouldn't cram away in a damned wardrobe, magic or not. The thought was bitter but true, the small life developing inside that bump would be their second chance at parenting, their happy ending.

Her eyes searched for her own failure in motherhood, a kid she had given away. The pain she felt at remembering it, knowing that all the memories were lies, and that indeed she was not the mother that had been by his side all those years.

Henry, wearing the horrible Valentine's theme sweater Granny had made him, dancing totally flustered in Grace's arms, the girl turning him around the room in the improvised waltz, their small figures disappearing among the grown-ups as Ariel and Eric danced in front of them, big smiles plastered on their faces, Ashley and her husband following behind. Tinkerbelle and Anton sat among the dwarfs clapping their hands and cheering as Leroy asked a grinning nun to dance, Regina smiling into her drink as Robin Hood's son leaned in to whisper something into Regina's ear, his father smiling proudly at both of them while holding the little boy in his arms.

Emma wiped away another stray tear.

Whale and Jefferson were trying to woo a pair of nuns in a corner, both of them making the blushing fairies giggle and flutter theireyelashes. Neal sat next to John and Michael, each filling in the others with details of their lives, Wendy on Neal's lap, toying innocently with the cuffs of his shirt.

It was creepy, but looking sideways she could see a very amused Belle talking with Granny, Gold's arms around her waist, having recently been married. It must be a family thing to have something for young innocent girls.

Emma scoffed, fixing her eyes on Blue and Geppetto, both of them scolding Pinocchio.

How easily had Neal backtracked on his word, stopping his fight for her as soon as Wendy and her brothers appeared and moved into town. Not that she cared, she wasn't going to let him waltz into her life again anyway, but it hurt. It hurt that he didn't keep his promise after she saved his life for a second time. People kept running from her, abandoning her. Giving up on her, even Killian.

Hook. Emma focused on her drink. He had stuck around since they came back from New York. Fighting by her side, keeping her company, always the perfect gentleman, the helping hand -no pun intended. Until she pushed him away, telling him again and again that she was choosing Henry, that he had no place inside her heart. The true love's kiss hadn't worked. Once everything was settled, he had stepped away, just a shadow in the corner of her eyes, the dull memory of what could had been and had not. She couldn't risk her heart again, she still couldn't risk being wrong about him.

She couldn't shake it from her thoughts, the image of him jumping in front of the Wicked Witch, dragging her with him as Henry fell to his knees, Regina scooping the kid in her arms just in time. Her heart had stopped as the pirate struggled with the green villain, stilling as the yellow bricks under him became crimson. It happened painfully fast; she was petrified, and Regina shoved Henry into David's arms and turned around, fighting against one last magic blast.

Emma's eyes found the blue pools of Hook's orbs. It was only she and Hook. Then his eyes closed and Emma's rage flooded out of her, and out of pure luck, the white energy ball mixed with one fireball of Regina's, the magic blast hitting the Wicked Witch as she yelled and turned into ashes, blown away by the wind.

Emma had snapped out of the shock of her own magic and, taking hold of her bearings, shoved her hand inside Hook's chest, taking his heart and forcing it to start beating again, placing it back in his chest, the color slowly coming into his checks as he resumed breathing. And then the sun suddenly rose and something stirred inside her, flying away, the force of the magic being released. Hook had opened his eyes. And the curse was broken, and Emma removed her hand from his chest. And it was the last time she had touched him.

Emma would never be able to shake that image from her memory, the way Hook had picked up her son afterwards, how Henry's arms had come around his neck, how her kid had clutched him like a lifeline.

Emma closed her eyes. Hook was gone from her life. Oh, they still saw each other when he was picking up Henry from school or hanging up with David. But he was gone from her life; he had work at the docks preparing ships for the leap to the Enchanted Forest as soon as the bean crops were ready, to use them as they used the Jolly Roger. He had settled down in an empty apartment near the docks.

He was surely as lonely as she was, on Valentine's day. Alone because she had stubbornly pushed him away.

"Emma darling, are you okay?"

She forced a tight smile and turned around, facing her father. "Sure, a bit tired of all that noise." She gestured around with her free hand,relieved to see that he had bought her lie.

"Perfect then, could you check Killian?"

Emma sputtered some of her whiskey. "What?"

"I don't wanna leave your mother alone tonight, but he has been moodier with each passing day." David ran a hand through his hair, looking really concerned. "I've been phoning him all night long; he was supposed to be here too. Apparently he has turned off his phone."

Emma rolled her eyes, not wanting to face the last man that had given up on her, one that had promised to think of her every day, and now seemed to despise her company. "Why don't you send one of the dwarfs?"

"I tried." He shook his head. "Doc just came back. I would ask Archie, but he's so..." He pointed at the man with his head, Archie's face was redder than his hair as he danced with Ruby.

"I get it. What I'm supposed to do?"

"Tell him you two can be friends."

Emma scoffed, eyes wide with surprise, her hand finding the wall for support. "What?"

"I know you told him to go, to stop, to walk out of your life." Emma blinked twice; Killian had told him. "He will take whatever you give him, if it's a friendship, a light and episodic one, even that would do."

"I don't think he's interested, he's been avoiding me all these months."

David took the glass out of her hand. "He's a gentleman, Emma. You told him to disappear and he did. But he's been mourning ever since. He wasn't like that the year you weren't there; he had hope back then... now he seems..." Emma bit her lip as her incredibly not-overprotective father pushed her towards the door. "He saved my life, and yours and Henry's." He placed a coat over her shoulders. "I'm your father but I'm also his only friend. If you aren't capable of loving him, I can respect that, but then -at least- give him a friendship. I'm not asking you for much, Emma, just a word or two now and then."

She tried to struggle out of the coat, suddenly realizing she couldn't just give Killian, Hook, a friendship. "But..."

"He knows you don't love him, he took the hint, but at least let him be around you. He's slowly dying, Emma, he's not a young man, he understands, he will be alright with a glimpse of you. I know him well enough to know that he will respect you, but _he deserves_ at least some gratitude."

She turned around, a hand on the door. "I can't just go there. He tried true love's kiss back in New York, when I just had false memories. He's not interested in friendship; he wants more and I can't risk it."

"Emma." He said her name in a desperate and annoyed tone. "You have read Henry's book a hundred times! True love's kiss doesn't work with memory loss." With that, the door closed and she took in a shaky breath. Damn, he was right.

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Years of thieving had given Emma Swam the skill to notice and unlocked door, so instead of knocking and risking him denying her entrance, she opened the door and slipped through it, barely making any noise.

What she found shook her. The apartment was clean and tidy. His leather coat was hanging next to the door, his hook on a wooden plate along with the keys to the apartment. She shivered; it was cold. The main and only room was barely furnished, a TV, a table with a couple of chairs, and a bed. He had lost his ship in that final battle as a tornado hit it, all his belongings, all those things he had kept for three hundred years lost.

Killian was on a rocking chair in front of the TV, images of two men swordfighting.

She observed him, the slow rocking pace he had set, the way he raised a bottle to his lips. He looked pitiful, a mess.

The image on the screen stilled, as well as the chair. "I told your dwarf to go, I just want a peaceful night, to drink until I'm unconscious. She doesn't care anyway. I've been sober for months, let me forget just one bloody night. Would you, mate?" His accent was thick, not with alcohol but with self-loathing, pleading.

Emma processed his words. Sober for months? He had stopped drinking for her? Then she realized what he had been seeing. The Princess Bride. His words echoed in her mind, '_As you wish_'.

She yelped, realizing she had broken him, a man who loved her, who had waited three hundred years for his second chance, and she had pushed him away, she had hidden behind her tall walls and had broken him.

He turned around, his eyes wide open in surprise, the bottle falling from his grasp.

"Emma, is everything okay?" She couldn't answer, seeing his blue eyes brimmed with red instead of black, his face flushed, his cheekstear stained. "Do you need me?" His voice was full of concern, his expression suddenly calm. She nodded, because damn, she had been trying to catch a glimpse of him during the last few months, changing her schedules just to see him at Granny's, asking Henry about his whereabouts. She had missed that damned innuendo-pirate-king. And yes she needed him, not just as a friend. "I will be ready in a heartbeat, love."

Emma blinked, clearing the tears from her eyes, not caring if he saw her crying or weak. But he wasn't looking, he was securing his cutlass around his waist over the jeans, locking the hook back in place. He was getting ready to fight at her side, to aid her in whatever quest she was on, without question or a second thought, without expecting her to give him anything. "Emma, is Henry okay?" He had his damned coat on too, and she smiled, running her hands over the leather lapels she had missed so much. "What's wrong, dear?" He was going to take whatever she would give him.

"I need you." Seeing him so close after so long made her so happy she drew out a shaky laugh. He frowned, confused as she tugged him closer, just as she had done back in Neverland. "It was definitely not a one time thing." With that, she crashed her lips on his, pouring every hidden feeling into it, his mouth responding in kind without hesitation, with that dull intention of a drowning man. That kiss was short-lived too, and she broke it, because she wanted him to know, she wanted that pained face of fear to disappear forever from his handsome features.

"Is this another dream?" He asked, his arms trembling around her, his voice small and weary.

She chuckled, shaking her head, their noses brushing. "I've missed you, Killian." She rested her forehead on his, her hands clutching his coat, his arms around her waist. He was about to say something but she stopped him. "I love you, Killian Jones."

He smiled, a tear rolling down his cheek. "It was about bloody time."

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**This is the end**

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